Accounting Jokes

The definitive site for humour about all things accounting

Category Archives: Charisma

Sheldon from Big Bang Theory

An excerpt from Big Bang Theory:  Sheldon as a fan of CPAs

Originally tweeted by @Brandon_NiceGuy



Meme – Want to be an accountant

Meme – Petty Cash

Monty Python and accounting 3

Monty Python and accounting 2

Vocational guidance counsellor sketch

This is a link to a Monty Python fan site.

Rectal pain

An accountant is talking to the young child of one of his friends and says, “Do you know what I do?’

“Daddy says you’re a CPA.”

“That’s right.  Did he tell you what CPA stands for?”

“Well, he says you’re a complete pain in the arse.”

Heart transplant

The doctor comes to see his heart transplant patient.

“This is good news.  It is very unusual, but we have two donors to choose from for your new heart.”

The patient is pleased.  He asks, “What were their jobs?”

“One was a teacher and the other was an accountant.”

“I’ll take the accountant’s heart,” says the patient.  “I want one that hasn’t been used.”


Wife to husband as they watch their young son playing:

“He’s such a sensitive child.  Let’s wait until he’s older before we tell him you’re an accountant.”

Shy and retiring

What’s a shy and retiring accountant?

An accountant who is half a million shy and that’s why he’s retiring.


How do you know when an accountant’s on holidays?

He doesn’t wear a tie to work and comes in after 8:30.