Accounting Jokes

The definitive site for humour about all things accounting

Category Archives: Pedantry

Meme – Petty Cash


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Meme – Trial Balance


Monty Python and accounting 1


Why accountancy is not boring by Mr A. Putty

This is a link to a Monty Python fan site.

Counting sheep 3


An auditor was examining the balance sheet of a mining company that had just bought a sheep station in the Pilbara area of Western Australia. The reason for the purchase was partly for the thousands of acres that the station covered and partly for the thousands of sheep that ranged over those thousands of acres. The auditor, being very diligent, noted that the value of the sheep formed a significant asset and, like all good auditors, knew that he would have to verify that asset.  He chartered an aircraft and flew up to the station.  The manager was at the airstrip to meet him.

“Hello,” he said. “I’m the auditor.  I’ve come to count the sheep.”

Bearings


An auditor is checking the books of an airline.  He is puzzled by the excess use of fuel on a Melbourne to Canberra flight. He rings up the pilot and asks for an explanation.

“It was late at night,” says the pilot, “Canberra was covered in fog and I lost my bearings.”

“I’m sorry,” says the auditor, “but you’ll have to pay the cost yourself.”

“The cost of what?” asks the pilot.

“Of the bearings you lost.”

Counting sheep 2


An accountant is in a car travelling with a farmer client around his farm.

They pass a large flock of sheep and the farmer says, “You’re pretty good with numbers, Keith.  How many sheep do you reckon are in that paddock?”

The accountant looks at the sheep for a moment and says, “One thousand, eight hundred and thirty two.”

The farmer is amazed. “Exactly right”, he says. “How did you work that out so fast?”

“Easy,” says the accountant “I counted the number of feet and divided by 4.”

Hush money


“The auditors have just left, sir.”

“Did they check the books?”

“Very thoroughly.”

“What did they say?”

“They want 15% to keep quiet.”

Tax deductions


Accountant after reading nursery rhymes to his young child:

“No, son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep that wouldn’t be tax deductible, but I like your thinking”.

Counting sheep


An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.

“Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.”

“Have you tried counting sheep?”

“That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”

Cost vs Value


An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing