Accounting Jokes

The definitive site for humour about all things accounting

Monthly Archives: March 2011

Accountant search


A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.

His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?”

The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for.”

Advertisements

Shy and retiring


What’s a shy and retiring accountant?

An accountant who is half a million shy and that’s why he’s retiring.

First accountant


Who was the first accountant?

Adam:

  • he got interested in figures
  • turned the first leaf, made the first entry
  • lost interest after withdrawal
  • buggered up the monthly accounts and
  • raised the first liability

Memory


Creditors have better memories than debtors

Old accountants


Old accountants never die. They just lose their balance.

Boring


Accountants aren’t boring people. They just get excited over boring things.

Cost vs Value


An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing

Colourful statements


My accountant printed this year’s income statement in colour – red.

Looking up


My accountant told me that the only reason why my business is looking up is that it’s flat on its back.

Precision


Accountants carry their calculations to two decimal places just to prove they have a marvellous sense of humour.