Accounting Jokes

The definitive site for humour about all things accounting

Category Archives: Definitions

You might be an accountant if …


You might be an accountant if … you have no idea that GAP is also a clothing store.

Tweeted by @kimimuthoni 7 March 2014

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Extraordinary social life


My social life while studying for the CPA exam is extraordinary, and by that I mean unusual and infrequent.

Posted on twitter by @Lets_Get_Fiscal

Dieting


Loss-eroles are the diet version of profiteroles.

Posted on twitter by @mikeydelrosario

Rectal pain


An accountant is talking to the young child of one of his friends and says, “Do you know what I do?’

“Daddy says you’re a CPA.”

“That’s right.  Did he tell you what CPA stands for?”

“Well, he says you’re a complete pain in the arse.”

Shy and retiring


What’s a shy and retiring accountant?

An accountant who is half a million shy and that’s why he’s retiring.

First accountant


Who was the first accountant?

Adam:

  • he got interested in figures
  • turned the first leaf, made the first entry
  • lost interest after withdrawal
  • buggered up the monthly accounts and
  • raised the first liability

Old accountants


Old accountants never die. They just lose their balance.

Cost vs Value


An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing

What is accounting?


Accounting: a collection of figures running around looking for an argument

Laws of accounting


Laws of accounting:

  1. Trial balances don’t
  2. Bank reconciliations never do
  3. Working capital does not
  4. Return on investments never will